Life, Loss and Love

Wow, so a lot has happened since I last blogged. That tends to happen in say...six months or so. We had my husband's 50th birthday/Retirement Celebration which was hugely successful but an enormous amount of work. I had a ton of help and it was still overwhelming. But so worth it. He is incredibly deserving; injuries he sustained forced him to retire from a job he loved and did so well, and he made it to 50 in spite of those very same injuries. He is truly a real life hero and he's ALL mine!!

After that, school started and the holidays were upon us and gone before I knew it. Time just goes way too fast. Then as I thought I might be settling into a routine that included writing again (yay me!), we were hit with a loss last week. My father-in-law, a very stern and imposing figure for most of his life, who turned to loving tenderness, a veritable marshmallow when surrounded by his grandchildren, succumbed at the age of 84. It was a blessing in that he is no longer suffering and neither is my mother-in-law because she no longer has to walk into his room and wonder if he will speak to her that evening, eat, or even know who she is. But most importantly, she doesn't have to watch him suffer ever again.

We didn't have a chance to talk about my writing, but I like to think he would've supported me. He wasn't necessarily the type that told me what he thought of what I did, but it did get back to me, that he was proud of me. And I did know that he loved me, if for nothing else than for standing by his son, for taking on and loving his precious granddaughter, and for giving him three more loving grandchildren. I certainly loved him.

We will all miss hearing him argue about the latest political issue, or his favorite sports team. But most of all we miss seeing his raised eyebrow, his cheek stuck out for a kiss, and hearing "Love you" when he said goodbye.

So again, I am reminded of how precious a gift life is and how much we need to make of it. We must live each day doing what we love or at least loving what we do at some point during the day and telling those we love what they mean to us. Writing is a way I can accomplish all of these things. It is something I love to do, I can express my feelings in a multitude of ways, directly to those I love or in the fiction I write.

Dad, I love you and will miss you more than you will ever know. Thanks for the multitude of times you picked up and ferried my kids to and fro, and for just being there, someone I could always count on whenever help was needed. May the sound of happy music, And the lilt of Irish laughter, fill your heart with gladness, that stays forever after.

In Memory of Robert M. O'Brien, August 1926-January 2011

Slainte` Dad

Donna O'Brien
www.donna-obrien.com

June - Craziness, End of a Journey and Love

June generally signifies the ending of the school year. For our family June is like hell month. Literally. We have 3 birthdays just in our immediate family, 5 more in our close surrounding family, our wedding anniversary is in June (but I was very young and didn't understand the repercussions of this decision at the time so don't hold it against me) and then we have Father's day.  Not to mention the sometimes two or three graduations that happen to fall within the already over-crowded month. So that pretty much covers the craziness. But since it all involves family, it's usually tolerable and filled with big rewards at the end...empty pockets, but big rewards. :) And love.


This year will signify the end of a journey...not an educational one, but a very long and arduous journey undertaken by my 14 year-old son. (The rest of the family obviously went along for the ride, because that's what we do.) I haven't talked too much about it but you can guess from some of my posts that it has to do with a very serious medical issue. I won't go into details but his treatment should be ending soon and all indications look very good. It's so much better when the doctor comes out and talks to you in the big waiting room with everyone else instead of calling you back and talking to you in private. Not fun...don't ever want to do that again! But my brave boy handled this better than I think many adults would have, including myself. Very little self pity if any...lots of humor...(tons and tons for he is much funnier than his mother.) And love


Though I don't know how we did it and if it would have happened at any other time, I don't think we would've made it, I was able to quit my job and stay at home and take care of my son. You would think that would leave lots of time for writing...not so much. Now that his care is under control I think I can prioritize. (Like I know my closet really, really needs to be cleaned out and organized, but I will make a date for that to be done and not worry about and write until then...sounds like a plan, right?)


Writing is what I love to do and it's saved me many times when I thought I really needed to run away but couldn't physically manage it. Reading is a great escape but you are lead along a predestined path, chosen by the author who wrote that book. Many of them do that phenomenally well and I have a fabulous time. But writing is absolutely magical - writing is a go anywhere do anything type of escape.  Limitless possibilities. Imagination is key and it's like a muscle, the more you stretch it, the more it bends. 


Have you ever listened to a kid's story and thought, How the hell did they come up with that? Because they've not yet been told they couldn't or that it doesn't make sense. Their imagination knows no boundaries yet because they haven't been created. Or when you wake up and try to remember a dream can't quite even grasp all the twists and turns of the dream, most of them turn to mist when you try to visualize them upon waking. It's like the conscious mind can't quite make itself believe it actually dreamed such a fantastical thing. But dreams...they no know limits. Your imagination shouldn't either. Feel free to write whatever. Just get it down. You never know what you might create. You can always fix it later or chuck it if it's that bad. But you just might surprise yourself and have a wonderful journey in the process.


And if you write with love...and I don't mean you have to write about love, but do it because it's something you love to do...BONUS! Everything is better when there's love. Even the awful sad and scary times; the wonderful, happy times. They are all made muchier with love. 


All things -- Always with love. 




Slainte`


Donna